The Lamp: A Novel by Jim Stovall With Tracy J Trost Read online

  Stanley threw the ball to Josh. She caught it and stood thinking for a moment as she ran through the new throwing motion in her head. Then she wound up and fired the ball to Stanley.

  Stanley caught it and offered some constructive criticism. “Not bad. You’re still using too much of your arm, though.”

  Josh seemed bewildered and asked, “What else would I use?”

  Stanley explained, “You need to use more of your body or you’ll just wear out your arm.”

  Josh stared at Stanley with a confused expression.

  He demonstrated the throwing motion as he instructed, “Look here. If you shift your weight to your left leg a little sooner, you’ll get more power in your throw.”

  Stanley used the technique he described as he threw the ball back to Josh. She caught it and really concentrated on her throwing motion as she wound up and hurled the ball at Stanley.

  He reached out to catch it, but Josh had thrown it so hard it stung his hands.

  Stanley cried, “Ow! Dang it!”

  Stanley dropped the ball like a hot potato, and Josh smiled with satisfaction.

  She called out playfully, “Don’t you have a glove, mister?”

  The thought of a baseball glove made Stanley think of Eddy which forced Stanley’s lighthearted, good mood to shut down immediately. His demeanor and countenance shifted as he shook his head and replied sadly, “No. No, I don’t. Not anymore.”

  Without any further explanation, Stanley just turned on his heel and walked back to the garage. He snapped his finger, and Cooper followed him. Josh stood alone in the middle of the driveway, hurt and confused.

  Stanley resumed his efforts to clean up the mess in the garage. Cooper sat just inside the garage door looking at Rachel. Josh held the baseball and practiced her new throwing motion.

  Stanley picked up a box to move it, but the bottom immediately fell out of the box, noisily dumping the contents onto the garage floor.

  Josh and Rachel instantly ran to the garage to see what had happened, arriving just in time to catch Stanley venting his frustration loudly.

  “Uuuggghhh!!”

  Stanley looked up in exasperation and noticed the girls standing at the entrance to the garage, staring at him. Cooper had positioned himself alongside Rachel.

  Josh asked, “Are you OK?”

  Stanley just stared at the girls in frustration and sighed. Finally, without speaking, he began picking up the mess on the garage floor and putting the spilled items back into the box.

  Josh was uncomfortable and wanted to reach out to Stanley, but she didn’t know what to say. Finally, she began speaking about the only topic they seemed to have in common.

  “So, where did you learn so much about baseball?”

  Stanley was still picking things up off the floor and was caught off guard by her question. He asked, “What?”

  “I mean,” Josh inquired, “did you play when you were a kid or…”

  Stanley confronted her with anger and impatience as he spoke. “Listen, kid. I don’t have time for all your questions, so unless you want to pitch in and help, then just leave me alone, OK?”

  Josh didn’t know what to say. She was intimated and a little scared, so she just stood in silence.

  Stanley nodded and continued. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

  He resumed picking up spilled items and replacing them in the box. Josh didn’t know what to say, but she defiantly joined Stanley in picking up the spilled contents.

  Just then, Miss Esther stepped into the garage and asked, “Josh, what are you doing?”

  Josh glanced up and explained in a matter of fact tone, “I’m helping Mr. Walters straighten up his garage.”

  Stanley turned around and gave Josh a curious look. Josh stared back at him without blinking.

  Miss Esther looked toward Stanley and asked, “Is that true, Mr. Walters?”

  Stanley was caught off guard but said, “Yeah, I guess it is.”

  Miss Esther smiled and said, “OK, then. Don’t stay too long. You’ve got practice this afternoon.”

  Josh nodded and replied, “OK.”

  Miss Esther surveyed the scene in the garage another moment, got a knowing smile on her face, then turned and walked back toward her house.

  Stanley turned to Josh and said, “Well, since it looks like I’m stuck with you, help me put the rest of this stuff back in this box.”

  Stanley and Josh made an awkward, mismatched pair, but somehow they instinctively knew that each might hold the key that could unlock the solution to the other’s problem so that healing might finally begin.

  CHAPTER 15

  Stanley and Josh continued their efforts to clean up the garage. They worked in tandem, and it seemed as if the ice between them was melting, and somehow they might be kindred spirits.

  Stanley looked over at Rachel and asked Josh, “So, what’s her story?”

  Josh looked up from her work and asked, “Whose story?” She followed Stanley’s gaze as he continued looking at Rachel. Josh confirmed, “Who? Rachel?”

  Stanley nodded and observed, “She doesn’t talk much.

  Josh chimed in. “She doesn’t talk ever. Not since the accident.”

  Rachel played with Cooper as Stanley and Josh continued their work.

  Stanley was struck by the fact that he thought he might actually be forming a bond with these dysfunctional kids. He lamented the reality that he could at least carry on a conversation with them while he couldn’t seem to open up any line of civil communication with Lisa. He wasn’t sure if he still loved her, or even liked her, but unless they could find a way to talk, he knew they had nowhere to go.

  Lisa silently shared Stanley’s frustration at their inability to communicate. She remembered earlier and better times when they could talk for hours without running out of things to say or simply sit together in a satisfying, comfortable silence.

  The rock of their relationship that had seemed so steady and indestructible had been instantly shattered in one fateful, tragic moment.

  These thoughts were racing through Lisa’s mind as she was in a private Pilates session with her friend and confidant, Deb. Lisa reveled in the fact that she could lose her pain and anguish, if only for a little while, in the physical exertion of exercise.

  Deb broke Lisa’s stream of thought as she asked, “So, can you borrow me 20 bucks?”

  Lisa looked up and tried to hold back the smile that was forming on her lips. Deb always had a cute way of using borrow and lend interchangeably. She shook her head emphatically, replying, “No.”

  Deb was excited and implored, “I promise I’ll pay you back tomorrow.”

  Lisa feigned a stern expression and solemnly stated, “I will not take part in your addiction.”

  Deb wasn’t ready to give up. She continued. “Come on. This is a sure thing. I’ve got a sucker on the stair stepper who is willing to bet against OU.” Deb stated without a shred of doubt in her mind, “The Oklahoma Sooners simply can’t lose.”

  Lisa resumed her role as the Pilates trainer and implored, saying, “Come on. Concentrate on this.”

  Deb shook her head mockingly and said, “You’re no fun.”

  Lisa ignored her and got Deb into another position.

  Lisa’s thoughts had never been far from Charles and his strange appearance in their lives. On one hand, she tried to dismiss it knowing that it couldn’t be true, but on the other hand, it seemed and felt real, and Charles’s three wishes challenged Lisa in ways that were strange but exciting to her.

  Without thinking, Lisa turned to Deb and spoke. “Let me ask you a question. This might seem a bit strange, but go with me on it.”

  Deb shrugged and offered a blank expression, muttering, “OK.”

  Lisa wasn’t sure where to start, so she just dove in, asking, “If you could have anything you wanted, what would you wish for? Oh, and it has to be something that you cannot get on your own.”

  Deb spoke as she thought. “Wish for anyth
ing I want that I can’t get on my own. Hmm. That’s easy. Money.”

  Lisa shook her head and declared, “You can get money on your own.”

  Deb chuckled and explained, “Not this kind of money. I’m talking crazy money. The kind that a rich uncle leaves you.”

  Lisa looked into the distance and pondered for a moment, then responded, “Yeah, I guess that works.”

  “Of course it does,” Deb prodded. “And, unlike you, I would share it with my best friend.”

  Lisa smirked, looked at her friend, and said, “The answer is still no.”

  Lisa thought about the three wishes and the possibility of money being one of the things she might wish for. Money had certainly been a struggle in their lives, particularly in the early years of their marriage. Then, just when things were getting a little more comfortable financially, the tragedy with Eddy hit them, Stanley’s career went into a tailspin, and money seemed to represent a constant crisis in the Walters’ household.

  Lisa wanted to talk to Stanley about money and the three wishes, but she wasn’t sure how to talk to him or if he would even entertain the possibility. Lisa wasn’t sure if the occasional angry exchange with Stanley was better or worse than the constant silence between them.

  Lisa instinctively knew that, while communicating with Stanley could be hurtful to their relationship, silence would be fatal.

  The process of cleaning the garage engaged Stanley in a way he had not experienced for a long time. The physical exertion left his mind free to wander, and it was never far from Charles, the three wishes, and Lisa.

  As he continued cleaning up his workbench, he thought about Lisa and wondered what she was thinking and whether she had been considering the three wishes. There was a time when Stanley had felt like he knew what Lisa was feeling and thinking without talking to her. Now, even when they talked, they seemed like strangers.

  Josh was picking up newspapers off of the garage floor and tying them together with string into bundles.

  Stanley walked over to check on her progress, saying, “When you’re done with that, we can haul them to the end of the driveway.”

  Josh spoke between deep breaths. “I haven’t worked this hard since I stayed with the farmer.”

  Stanley was confused and asked, “How long have you been in foster care?”

  Josh explained, “About three years. This is my fourth home.”

  Stanley was shocked. He exclaimed, “Really? Four foster homes in three years?”

  “Yeah,” Josh said sheepishly. “They tell me I have some anger issues.”

  Stanley replied, “Really?” as he considered Josh’s anger and his own.

  He realized that Josh’s anger had caused her to have to move from home to home while his own anger was destroying the love and harmony in the home he had. Stanley looked at Josh thoughtfully and realized they were a lot alike.

  CHAPTER 16

  Stanley surveyed the garage and the progress he and Josh were making in their cleanup project. It appeared to Stanley that, in spite of their hours of hard work, somehow in the midst of the project the garage looked worse than it had when they had started. Maybe all progress begins with removing that which currently exists so that it leaves room for the things that might be possible.

  Stanley wanted to avoid his own anger issues because it was easier to focus on Josh’s.

  He echoed her earlier admission. “So you have anger issues?”

  Josh nodded thoughtfully and revealed, “I’m not looking for fights, but it’s just not right for someone big to hurt someone small. Especially moms or kids. People who do that should be punished for what they do.”

  Stanley had a knowing expression on his face as he steadily gazed at Josh.

  She continued. “I promised Miss Esther that I wouldn’t fight anymore. She wants me to stay with her until DHS finds me a family.”

  Stanley asked, “Do you like living with Miss Esther?”

  Josh nodded excitedly and said, “Yeah, she’s great. But the real reason I am here is to take care of Rachel.”

  Stanley nodded and muttered thoughtfully, “I see.”

  Josh continued. “She doesn’t have to talk to me. I know exactly what she is saying.”

  Stanley didn’t know how to respond, so he didn’t say anything.

  Josh broke the uncomfortable silence and changed the subject, asking, “So, what else do you do besides take forever to clean your garage?”

  Stanley was taken off guard and stammered, “Oh, um, well. Actually I’m a writer. I write books.”

  “Wow!” Josh exclaimed with childlike enthusiasm. “You must be rich.”

  Stanley thought how far from the truth that was and muttered, “Heh, not exactly.”

  Josh continued excitedly. “I wish I had a lot of money.”

  The comment impacted Stanley. He stopped tying bundles of newspapers and stood up straight.

  He asked, “What did you just say?”

  Josh looked at Stanley as he stared at her with a bewildered expression on his face.

  She spoke uncomfortably. “I just said that I wish I had a lot of money.”

  Stanley felt he was on to something here and prodded, “And what would you do with it if your wish came true?”

  Josh replied automatically, “Oh, I could do all kinds of things. Like buy Miss Esther a much bigger house, or new uniforms for my team. Or, I dunno, maybe finally get a family that would adopt me and Rachel. If I had money, someone would adopt us.”

  Stanley’s immediate thoughts were of Eddy and the tragic loss in his own family.

  He stated, “Yeah, well, some things even money can’t fix.”

  Josh was uncomfortable as she sensed the major shift in Stanley’s mood.

  She said, “Well, I think I better be going. Come on, Rachel.”

  As Josh and Rachel began to walk away, Cooper followed them. Stanley snapped out of the mood created by memories of Eddy, and he went after the girls.

  Stanley caught up with the girls just as they were approaching Miss Esther’s porch.

  He called, “Wait! Josh.”

  Josh and Rachel both stopped and turned around. Stanley reached into his pocket and took out a five dollar bill. Stanley handed the five dollar bill to Josh.

  “Here,” he said. “For your work.”

  Josh squinted at Stanley and seemed suspicious. She wouldn’t take the money from him.

  “You don’t need to pay me,” she announced.

  Stanley replied, “Well, who said it was for you?”

  Josh seemed perplexed.

  Stanley continued. “It’s to help your team. For the uniforms.”

  Josh smiled faintly and took the money.

  She mumbled, “Thanks, but we’re going to need a lot more than this.

  Stanley responded, “Well, that garage ain’t gonna clean itself.”

  Josh’s smile widened a bit more, and she said, “Thanks for everything.”

  Stanley seemed perplexed and questioned, “Excuse me?”

  “For the throwing lesson,” Josh explained. “I think it will help.”

  Stanley shrugged and said, “Yeah, well, it was nothing.”

  Josh nodded, turned to Rachel, and said, “Come on, Rachel. Let’s get inside.”

  Josh and Rachel headed for Miss Esther’s front door. Cooper followed them.

  Stanley called to him, “Stay here, Coop.”

  Cooper stopped, turned, and looked at Stanley. Then he looked back at the girls. Everyone was frozen in place for a moment. Then Stanley turned and walked back toward his garage.

  Cooper gave the girls one last look. Then he turned and followed Stanley back home.

  Stanley couldn’t get Charles’s wishes and Josh’s ideas out of his mind. After working a little more in the garage, he retreated to his home office where he confronted the computer and actually formulated some of his thoughts into writing.

  When Lisa got home that evening, she heard the joyous sound of the keyboard clicking dow
n the hallway. She slipped silently to the door of the office and peered in. Stanley didn’t notice her, but she could see some of the words he had typed on the screen. It read: MONEY. What would I do if I could have all the money I ever wanted?

  As Stanley continued to type, Lisa moved silently down the hallway to their bedroom. As she got ready to go to bed and eventually drifted off to sleep, Lisa could hear typing continuing from the office down the hallway.

  The sound and the anticipation put her in mind of earlier and better times in their lives. She remembered when all they had were some random thoughts Stanley would type into the computer, but somehow it had all worked out. She had never realized how fortunate they had been back then.

  Ideas, hopes, and dreams were all they had, but that was all they had needed.

  CHAPTER 17

  Stanley typed away at the computer, working late into the night. He wasn’t sure that what he was writing was any good, but he was afraid to stop. Stanley feared that if he shut off the flow of inspiration, he might not be able to find it and get it back again.

  Eventually, his thoughts about wishes and money seemed to be complete. He didn’t have all the answers, but he had at least formulated the questions.

  He drifted off to sleep that night alone in Eddy’s room, but he had the satisfaction of having done some work on a writing project. He wasn’t sure if it would become a book or just remain random thoughts about Charles and the three wishes, but something was always better than nothing.

  Once again, it was a bright and sunny day filled with joy and anticipation. Stanley was putting a helmet on Eddy as the young boy proudly sat atop his bicycle that, for the first time in his short life, didn’t have training wheels.

  Stanley looked on proudly as he held the training wheels that he had just removed in his hand.

  Eddy had an expression of great concentration as he started the bike rolling down the driveway.

  Stanley’s expression of excitement quickly shifted to one of great concern.

  Stanley called out, “Slow down, Eddy. Watch where you’re going.”